Could this save the future of the human race?

Well, a quick little update before I move onto the more serious matter of the Meme. One more day left of placement and that's it, kinda scary that I'll no longer be a student. The job, they're being so slack and I still haven't been given an official yes but I'm 99% sure I have it, they're just taking their time, I'll be contacting them on Wednesday to get an update. I've just got a temporary, part time admin job at my university to give me some extra cash for the next month.

And onto the meme.

Three Things That Scare Me:
1. Being out of control
2. Getting old
3. Being dependent on others
(These three are all interlinked.)

Three People Who Make Me Laugh: (only three?)
1. My brother
2. Poppy
3. My boyfriend

Three Things I Love:
1. My boyfriend, my friends and my family (I know, it's cheating!)
2. My job
3. Singing

Three Things I Hate:
1. My figure/my weight
2. People who walk slowly down the middle of the pavement, like they have no purpose in life, so that you can't overtake them
3. Other people seeing when I'm not in control

Three Things I Don't Understand:
1. Cruelty
2. People not caring about the state of the world and what is around them
3. Bengali - it would have helped me the last 3 years if I had!

Three Things On My Desk: (Well, next to me anyway)
1. A bottle of bubble mixture
2. A foundation makeup brush
3. My tattoo aftercare balm

Three Things I'm Doing Right Now:
1. Watching Heroes
2. Looking at Benefit make up online
3. Chewing my fingers

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
1. Visit Cambodia
2. Have children
3. Learn to speak another language

Three Things I Can Do:
1. Play the trumpet - though I've not played in years
2. The string trick!
3. Knit - though not very well!

Three Things I Can't Do:
1. Juggle
2. Drive
3. Rolls my 'r's

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:
1. Yourself
2. Your friends and family
3. Children

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:
1. People who want to destroy you
2. Your insecurities
3. That stranger in the club who tries to tell you you have a curvature of the spine - it's just an excuse to put his arm around you

Three Things I'd Like To Learn:
1. Learn another language
2. To drive
3. To play the piano so I can accompany my own singing

Three Favourite Foods: (I can’t do the “favourites”)
1. Pizza
2. Pasta
3. Chinese

Three Worst Foods
1. Dodgy sea creatures with tentacley bits - it's just wrong
2. Olives
3. Very hot, spicy food

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid: (but there were so many)
1. Scooby Doo
2. The Sooty Show
3. Ballykissangel (I was a little older!)

Three Wonderful People to Inflict My Meme On:
I have no one to inflict this on, no one else reads my blog! But if you are reading, feel free to leave a comment answering the questions :)

Head For Heights

I'm fairly sure that the few readers I have will already havebeen directed to this link, but just in case...

Head For Heights

I had a placement at Richard House Children's Hospice in my second year. At the time it was very under funded, having jsut lost lottery funding, and they were making a lot of staff redundancies. It was underused, because of lack of money, but the children that did use it had a wonderful time and it clearly made a difference to their lives and the lives of thier families. This is such a worthwhile cause so please jsut take the time to look at the links and have a read.

A laugh

Well I heard today that I didn't get the job, however I am being put onto a reserve list because currently the A&E department aren't taking many poeple on rotation and are under pressure to accept more but haven't yet given an answer. So I have to wait now, if I've not heard by the 19th March I have to assume I was unsuccessful.

I'm getting new glasses. Exciting.

Work has been okay. I can't think of anything particularly that has leapt out at me and compellled me to write over the last few shifts. I've been lazy about writing here, sorry!

So, for those of us who need a laugh.

Giggling Quads and Dad at the Comedy Barn

Other people laughter is contagious!

Blogging frenzy

I've had a bit of a mad blogging session today! 4 posts, well 5 now! I'd thought about writing about why I became a nurse for a while. Someone recently emailed me asking if I had any advice for her, a paediatric student nurse on her first placement, and I was inspired to write this "series" or "resource" on being a nurse.

I apologise for having to add in the comment verification word thingy! I've had a spam comment and I'm hoping it will act as a deterrent or prevent automated commenting.

Random thought:
We have communal changing rooms at work which I've realsied means I'll have to wear decent (in all sense of the word) underwear everyday.

Oh yes, on my shift on monday we had a screamer like I have never seen before. It becomes very wearing after a while when a child constantly screams (I mean really screams) before you even touch them! She was only abour 3, and apaprently she was frightened, but her mother was entirely ineffectual and more often than not ignored her and in no way calmed her at all, and this was before we even did anything unpleasant (like put a cannula in)! I have to say, after 5 minutes of shrill, loud screaming I wanted to tell her to shut up before I gave her something to scream about! That's me... the compassionate, caring nurse!

Brushing up

I had an IV study day today, it was good - a lot of brain work but should be helpful for practice, and it's something to put in my portfolio.

Tomorrow is my first shift in my new A&E placement and I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully it shall provide something of interest to fill my blog with!

I'll be off to bed with my A&E notes shortly to brush up before tomorrow. I'm still trying to get these darn acrylic nails off, I've cut them down but after hours of soaking in nailvarnish remover they've still not totally come off so I'll be giving them another soak and scrape tonight. I'm very aware of infection control and of how they could harbour infection, I'll have to be particularly stringent with my handwashing until I can get them off completely.

Today in brief

I'm feeling a bit fed up tonight, I really don't have the motivation to read any blogs or write properly here. I just want to go curl up in bed. Sorry for the blogs I'm neglecting to comment on (MMW particularly), so today in brief...

The informal visit was good, I was very impressed with the hospital, they seemed to quite like me and were very friendly and gave me lots of advice for filling in my application form and the interview. So now I'm in the process of writing my supporting statement, there are 33 items on the person specification to address and it's horrible.

The end.

Tomorrow

I've been at Nat's this weekend, I'll catch up with other people's blog entries tomorrow, I feel like having an early and relaxed night tonight. Tomorrow morning I have an informal visit at a different hospital.

Considering we expected there wouldn't be many jobs around I'm now applying to 2 large hospitals in London recruiting throughout their department, one of which specifically invites about-to-qualify and newly qualified nurses to join them. The one I'm visiting tomorrow would be a bit more of a commute, but it offers an 18 month rotation programme which would be ideal for me persuing a career in A&E. It woudl mean I could spend 6 months in 3 different clinical areas to gain experience, the final one could be A&E.

The first day

Well, first day back at university and it feels good to be getting back into. I've got my first shift in A&E on wednesday which I'm very much looking forward to.

Tomorrow we have a Major Incident Training day, apparently our university if the only one in the country to offer this to student nurses. We'll be working with students from the mental health and adult nursing branches. I'm quite looking forward to it, it should be an interesting day. I don't however relish the thought of working with some of the people in the other branches, from past experience there are some very rude and poorly behaved people - most of whom are adults in therr 30/40s who should know better.

But, out with the negative! It should be a worthwhile day, and I get a certificate (Wooo!) to add to my training portfolio. I shall report back tomorrow. We also have an IV study day next week and I'll get another certificate!!

I've done a complete U-Turn regarding next year, and since seeing those jobs advertised at a good hospital only a 15 minutes train journey from where I live have felt that it would be a great opportunity and I'd really like to get some more experience (and money!) before I continue studying. I have an informal visit arranged for next friday, I'll be interested to see what the wards are like and get a feel for the place.

Jobs

Well I've had it confirmed. My next placement is in A&E at the first hospital of my choice. Not a great surprise as I was the only one in my group to apply there, but I'm pleased nonetheless. I'm looking forward to the 13 weeks I will spend there, it should also provide some things of worth to write about!

I was job searching today. I'm having second thougths about doing an extra year straight after my course, so I'm going to apply for work as well as the course and make the decision at a later date. A hospital local to me is recruiting in several areas of paediatrics, with interviews in the beginning of March, it should time well with my qualifying in April. I'm going to call to arrange an informal visit and then get working on my application. I've only ever applied for one job before Is tarted training and I am aware of how high the competition is for good paediatric jobs at the moment, I find the prospect of applying and having to sell myself quite daunting!

Exam feedback and nails

I went and collected my exam results and read my feedback. there was some helpful stuff, some things I disagreed with and then one comment in particular that really upset me. I happened to bump into my tutor and ended up crying in her room. I've not had this tutor long, and I'd not realised how good a tutor she was until that point. She was very encouraging and supportive and made me feel much happier about it.

The comment was that my work displayed "marginally" safe practice. To me, it seemed to imply that I was a barely safe practicitoner, and that is far from the truth. My Practice Based Assessments have always graded me very highly and I have very good reports from the staff I work with, my safety has never been in question. I was unhappy because it's not the sort of statement I want on my record. My tutor told me that I should be proud of myself for passing first time, as many poeple on the course don't do that, and that I shouldn't worry too much about the wording one person (who I have had a persoality clash with) chooses to use. She said she'd read my file and that I get good results but that sometimes I expect too much of myself and I need to relax and focus on the positive things, Im starting to wonder what exactly they've got written about me!

I don't deny that it wasn't a good exam answer, and I often feel that my written work lets me down. But I don't think that's a matter of not knowing the theory, I think I'm fairly knowledgable, but it seems more to be that I can't "talk the talk" - I can't write things they way they want me to. I've become a bit of a cynic, but my mother (who is a headteacher (and come to think of it also a cynic)) agrees with me, that these days education has become more about "playing the game" and saying right things, the way they want you to, than actually knowing your stuff and being an individual. It comes back to the thing I mentioned previously of my opinion only being valid if someone else has said it already.

Enough assignment grumbling before I become too disheartened!

Completely off the topic, I had acrylic nails put on yesterday. Never again, the woman was a sadist!

Blogs

I've added a few new Blogs to my links. The Wife of a Schizophrenic, as the name suggests, is a blog written by the wife of a schizophrenic; "A brief explanation of Schizophrenia, it's affect on our marriage, and our experiences with mental health services". It's a heartwarming and informative read. Also by the same lady is There's Life Jim, it's a lighter read and I just love the way she thinks!

Finally, Tales From Tragedy Towers - Life at NHS Direct, this is quite a new Blog but if you ever wanted to know what not to call NHS Direct about, or have a morbid interest in the stupidity of others it's definitely for you! It's funny and eyeopening, giving a greater understanding of the service that gets such bad press.

Oh, and an update. The Portfolio has been deferred so I can slack a little bit more, and I got my exam results over the phone, passed both though I'm not too happy with one of my grades and look forward to reading the feedback. It was a typical administrative error, like the time they kept sending me letters threatening to kick me from the course for failing a piece of work I had passed on first attempt.

Looking good.

I saw my ethics lecturer this morning, after she kept me waiting for an hour, and she read through my essay and told me it was good! There are just a few small changes I need to make. So, I'm quite happy about that, though I won't celebrate until it's been marked because from past experience I know what the marker says about the draft may be entirely different to what they say to the submitted essay.

A productive day

I went into work today to get the last few things in my skills schedule signed off. I thought it would be horribly difficult knowing what my mentor has been like in the past when it has come to signing things, but actually it was smooth and fairly painless. It's a relief to have the Schedule out of the way and ready to submit next module.

I finished off my ethics essay tonight, I think it might actually be a load of rubbish, but I'm seeing a lecturer about it tomorrow and I guess she'll give me a clue.

I'e been quite stressed this weekend, having to get my schedule sorted and finish that essay, but also I'm going to Nat's tomorrow, we're going to a funeral on tuesday and then I'm staying there until friday when we fly out to Gambia for a week with some friends. So I've had a lot of packing and organising to do on top of my university work.

On the brightside, my parents being the Christmas lovers that they are have put up our Christmas tree, it looks beautiful as ever, and the kitten loves it.

My week - an overview

This week has been pretty good. I worked three shifts. The first was out on the ward, as opposed to HDU, on a night shift. We are so undersaffed and underresourced and with the forthcomin gclosure of the ward the staff have had enough. The highlight of my night shift was being womited on by a baby who just would not stop crying, with a pretty useless father who seemed to feel it was the nurses job to do everything for his daughter, he'd just lie in bed when she cried or come and get us and point out that she's crying. Well.. yes.. and what do you think we're going to do that you can't do better as her father?

Yesterday I worked with B and she's a star, really helped me get some of my skills schedule signed off. Once again understaffed, I think it's helpful for them when I'm working as I can (fairly competently) take my own patients easing the staff load slightly. Highlight of that shift? (I typed shit then by mistake, Freudian slip?) Hmm. I did my first subcut injection and it's about time really. Hardly news worthy I know, but I had a sense of fulfilment doing it - I quite like doing injections, maybe I'm abit of a sadist.

Today I worked with my mentor. I don't think I've mentioned him before. He has been the most challenging mentor I have had I think, for reasons I won't go into here/now. But I have learned a lot of patience on this placement, and a lot about how not to treat people and patients. I was really hoping I'd find some way to get out of it as it was my last shift, however I didn't and I survived and it wasn't entirely horrendous. The highlight of today was being told by one of the senior sisters that I've "got what it takes to go far in nursing", that she's seen me in practice and that if they could offer me a job in April they would do, with the forthcoming closure and reshuffle they won't be able to, it's good to know though.

Oh, and I did a really good blood gas today, not a big deal at all I know but I feel like I always fuck them up and have to get someone else to do them, so it felt good. It really does make a difference having a supportive and encouraging person working with you when you're not feeling confident (it also helps that it was a compliant 9 year old and not a kicking, screaming babe).

Oh, and having done my durgs assessment last module I'm allowed to be a second checker. I like it, it's fun, but I also feel like I'm helpful and contributing.

I should really go back and check my typing, but I'm tired and can't be bothered so I apologise for any mistakes, if you begin to read this blog on a regular basis though I'm sure you'll get used to them.

Acronyms and Danger

Recently on a comments thread of a blog I have been following, the topic of hospital acronyms came up. It made me think about the little things I've not learned during my 2.5 year's training. TTA/TTOs. I know what they are - medication the patient takes home, but I've never really been sure what they stand for - that's not something they teach in university, (thanks to those who enlightened me on that thread).

Something else, incredibly stupid that in my third year I'm still a little hazy about, is the medical heirachy. When I'm asked to bleep the doctors for a particular task I'm never quite sure which one they mean, SHO, reg, consultant? I tend to go for the nice ones who'll either give me what I want or point me in the direction of someone who can. I was discussing this recently with a fellow third year who said she also is never quite sure - clearly a gap in our training!

Blogging. It's dangerous. I started reading Random Reality's blog because it came up in the Metro and looked like interesting reading. From reading his Blog I've moved onto NeeNaw's and Diagnosis N.F.I, from their Blogs I've started reading Mr Man's Wife and from there I've started glancing through about 5 different others! It's a wonderful way to avoid writing my essays, and the bonus is I can kid myself that it's all relevent to my training!

Diploma vs. Degree

I'm due to qualify in April, I wasn't really looking forward to it for several reasons.
a) I've got so much work to do between now and then I just want to give up and sleep through the winter
b) I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to be a staff nurse. Don't misunderstand me, I actually think I'm good at what I do (a rarity for me) and have the potential to be a good staff nurse I'm just not sure I feel ready to go out there and do it yet
c) I actually have to find a job

I'm so close to finishing it seems almost impossible yet I know, despite a,b and c, it will be a relief in some ways. So why am I now considering doing an extra year?

I've trained on a 3 year Diploma course, Degree or Diploma I exit the programme as a registered nurse child branch. I left school with just AS Levels, when I decided I wanted to do nursing a Diploma was the best option, I could have done an extra year at school to get onto a degree programme but the funding is better on the Diploma and it seemed like the best idea at the time. Afterall, I don't need a degree to be a good nurse.

During my training I realised that I want to get the degree at some point, I had thought CPD modules later when I'd qualified would be a good idea. However, my university runs a "top up" course full time for a year starting the month after I qualify. I'm planning on applying for it, my (ever supportive and loving) parents will help support me for another year and it seems better than trying to to it later when I may have other commitments like a mortgage or a family.

Why do I want a degree? Well there's definitely an issue of pride. Employability, well either way I'd be a registered nurse but in these cash strapped times who would a ward rather employ; a diploma nurse who wants to be sponsered to degree or someone who already has a degree? If faced with two applicants, a good diploma nurse and a not-so-good degree nurse I don't believe having the diploma would disavantage, however being on an even pegging in terms of "goodness" greater qualification has to be a bonus. If I leave nursing having a degree, regardless of it's relevence, will be looked on positively. If I want to go on to do more study, which I think I will, having the degree now will make it easier to access other courses. Finally, it is not going to disadvantage me doing an extra year of study and having more qualifications.

Do I really want to do an extra year? I was looking forward to these essays being the last I would have to write for the foreseeable future, I don't relish the idea of further study now. But I feel it would be better to get out of the way whilst I can. With regards to a,b and c...
a) doesnt' really change, I've always fancied hibernation as a life choice.
b) I would have another year to feel ready to be a grown up, maybe I won't feel ready then either but I certainly will have more experience under the safety net of being a student (though realistically I'll have a PIN and seeing as I don't seem to be counted as supernumery now I can't see that I will be then).
c) Perhaps the job climate will have changed by then.

The other downside is that on the Diploma course my tuition fees were paid and I received a nice bursary, this I will not get for the extra year and I anticipate the fees being quite high, I'll have to take out a loan (I've not needed to thus far) and be poor for a year whilst my friends go out and work and earn the millions nursing has to offer.However, at just 21 I have my whole life ahead of me, one extra year is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Of course, all this is subject to my application and acceptance onto the programme however as one of their current students I think it unlikely I wouldn't be. So I'm now trying to mentally prepare myself for another year of essay writing and new found poverty.

If you read this far you deserve a cookie.

Doom and gloom

We have a careers day on thursday, which has now become a careers half day as there aren't any jobs. I personally find this amusing, but then I have an odd sense of humour.

Only one Trust agreed to have a stand at the fair, everyone else cancelled as the job situation in the local area is so dire. I've also been told by several different people in the last week how restrictive training to be a paediatric nurse will be, so apparently it's all doom and gloom that I have to look firward to in April. Apparently I should have trained as an adult nurse, but the thing is I don't really like adults so that would have been a drawback!

Beautiful, wonderful

So, yesterday I got to pass my first NG tube, beautiful.
I got all my paperwork finished and signed, wonderful.

I realised just how soon I'll be qualifying and becoming an all grown up staff nurse. Although when on placement I'm working full time I'm always aware that I have a finish date and am counting down to it. I'm going to have to get my head around the fact that this is going to be my life come April/May. Assuming I can find a job.

Things

Things I liked today:
1) Getting an easy OSCE question.
2) Getting a glowing written report from my mentor.

Things I didn't like today:
1) Smelly people on the bus.
2) People walking slowly, aimlessly down the middle of the pavement leaving no room for the puropseful striders to overtake.

Things I learned today:
1) A TenderFoot does exactly what it says on the packet. It gives you a tender foot... or a tender finger in my case. I'd heard they were pretty brutal so I thought to try one out, and yes I can confirm it, they hurt.
2) Microwaving a Kosher soup for 5 minutes makes it explode a little bit.


We've had a child on the ward recently with Prader-Willi Syndrome, one I've not come across before and quite interesting to care for. I was going to discuss this a little but had a pang of confidetiality conscience.

A new day, a new blog

I've considered this for a while, and decided to restart a blog. My life as a student nurse can be interesting, or terribly dull, but it often provides me with something I'd like to write about, failing that, there's always the Metro... Which brings me onto today's topic.

Reading the Metro on my way into work on thursday I came across this little snippet. A survey conducted by Hasbro (makers of the board game The Big Taboo) found that nudity was still rated the greatest modern taboo, 37%. Wearing Hoodies came in at 12%... How ridiculous! But the bit that really got me was that 9% voted for breast feeding and only 2% were upset by farting.

Where have we gone so wrong? The breast has become a sexual object, I've often heard that cited as a reason that women dislike the idea of breast feeding, but it's a natural thing, it's been around for years, and is far better for the baby than formula feeding. I understand it's a personal choice but this country has got a really strange attitude towards it; we should be encouraging mothers not shunning those who choose to.

The other Metro article that interested me that day was the idea that doctors would be banned from wearing novelty socks and ties etc. How long before we ban a sense of humour? It also said that nurses are on the hitlist for see-through clothing, clothing too loose or too tight. See-through clothing? What kind of "nurse" have they been visiting?

Final thought for today, can a person change? Are our personalities innate, unchangeable? And if we do change, are we denying ourself?

For those of you who read this far, well done, pat yourself on the back